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Many of the people I coach with express a desire to widen their social network. Meeting new people is a lot like looking for a new job – you have to get out there, tell people what you’re looking for and make a fabulous impression. You have to put your light on.

I’m sure you’re familiar with hailing a taxicab. If the light is on, it means the cab is available. If the light is off, the cab is unavailable. Simple.

Well…most people walk around with their light off. They don’t extend themselves, they avoid looking you in the eye, they don’t smile nearly enough. They act as though they’re "unavailable". When your light is off, people read the sign and keep away.

When your light is on, you’re sending positive messages. You meet people’s eyes, you smile, your laugh is ready. When you’re in a new situation, you mingle and introduce yourself. You exude intelligence, passion and liveliness. You take the initiative and put people at ease by offering charming and self-deprecating stories about yourself. Or just be a compassionate listener to someone else’s tale. That speaks eons about your interest and concern for others.

A person whose light is on has an energetic hello and follows up "how are you" with an energized response of "fabulous" or "terrific". If you do it a lot, it will become second nature and soon you will really believe it. When you’re upbeat and positive, people will be intrigued and wonder what you’re so happy about. This opens the door to more stories about yourself that engages the listener and positions you as the kind of person who’s passionate about living.

The secret of finding new friends or new loves or even a new job is making everyday encounters "connecting moments". Whether you’re waiting for your coffee or picking up dry cleaning, you could be standing next to someone who could be the connecting thread to your future. Make it a point to connect with someone everyday. Glowing with enthusiasm and confidence is a magnetizing light. Turn it on and keep it on. Simple.

 

 

 
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